Oye, Mahmoud, I love it when you lead.
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but things aren’t going so great. There have been two suicide bombings abroad in the past week. Our economy has finally begun its much-anticipated freefall. We owe China, among others, boatloads of money. We’re still in Iraq and Afghanistan. Russia doesn’t like us, and has made friends with a caustic (albeit harmless) Hugo Chavez. Bolivia’s president Evo Morales is blaming us for his civil scuffle currently taking place. Our Republican vice presidential candidate is an End-of-Days creationist. Our president is an End-of-Days creationist. David Foster Wallace killed himself. The drummer from that shitty 90’s preteen ‘punk’ band was in a plane crash. And all the while the world heats up in the most literal sense of the phrase. I mean, wow.
What can we do?
Well, I’m glad you asked. There is only one thing we can do:
Dance.
That’s right, dance.
Everybody dance, now.
Hey! What's wrong? You shy? Well, don’t be. I’ve got some crunk'd-out music videos to get you going. You‘ll like them. I swear. They’re starring some of our favorite people around.
First up: Mr. Bill HUSSEIN O’Reilly.
Before we get to grooving, did you catch O'Reilly a few years back on Inside Edition? Apparently Papa Bear had had a rough day. If you didn't catch the meltdown the first time around, please check out the above link before the music video below. Believe me when I say you need a primer for this YouTube gem. In any event, stretch before rocking out to this phat beat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j2YDq6FkVE
Oh.
Hell yes, Bill.
Dare I say he’s more gangster than Ludacris?
I hope you all are feeling better already. Dancing is often the best remedy for life’s worries.
Want to know how they get down in Latin America? Well, they get down with music that most people in the U.S. hate. It’s called reggaeton. You probably won't like it. The only reason I do is because it brings back memories of having no responsibility and staying out all night in South America dancing with latinas.
Do you remember when the king of Spain told Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez to shut up?
Yeah. It happened. Not the greatest thing to happen to the latin world. But, I suppose, nowhere near the worst.
In any event, here’s a bit of reggaeton-infused foreign diplomacy for all y’all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwswzwoA4pA&feature=related
You know, whether or not anyone appreciates that music or not, I think we can all agree that Chavez’s blank stare at the end of the video probably counts as the apex of his political career.
(Sidenote: this clip isn’t even my favorite parody of that unfortunate interaction. Ever see beaurocratic muppets prepare to throw down?)
And last, but in no way least, we have a music video by one of my favorite bands, The Electric Six. The name of the song is -- well, you’ll figure it out.
I’m told this video was banned in the U.S. and the U.K.
Land of the free, huh?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCZvYXwBlkk
All sweaty, sated, and happy?
Good.
¡ Hazlo en vivo!
-Kempar
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